The Dainty and Naughty Facts in the Mythical World

Ye've heard of all the magic and such now we speaks of the things not meant for children's ears or eyes. Eight years to teens depart or be traumatized for what we shall speak of cannot be unspoken nor unseen. It's the sort of things a pirate's favorite tavern tales are made of and alchemists labor to untangle the mysteries of. Long ago the ancients saw it in public baths and the lords and ladies saw it in houses for cleaning themselves, the place they say monstrous beings are invited to drink and carouse. Yes I speak of their biology, the study of insides and wobbly bits and how everything bends and works. The very things the spirits or gods bestowed them with when they left their mother's womb.


Concerning Humans

It is common knowledge the physical aspect of humans such as they are, the weight of the body must be proportionate to the bust and lower sections should they hope to be healthy. Amongst humans partaking in the thralls of passion are as they are for the ritual of which to concieve human children, humans live for a few decades or a century depending on size and health. A human child is no different in our world from another save in an environment where health knowledge is limited and in some families a portion of them survive to adulthood where other families successfully have them all survive, a human reaches adolescence by twelve and adulthood depending on how long they live by either sixteen or twenty and sometimes their adulthood if they only live to their thirties is thirteen. Normally in a time without the necessary knowledge they normally live to sixty or fourty at most. Human males normally don't get circumcized unless they are half-elven and at longest achieve three inches on their king makers. The women are at healthiest c sized in the bust and not further, maybe at largest they can get away with double c size and not have their backs suffer the consequences. The larger the bust the perkier they seem to be but in every other aspect of their anatomy they are deemed average sized.


Concerning Elves

Rumor has it that elves are generally smaller than humans in every way but as it turns out it depends on the elf, some are larger in bust and buttocks without punishing their backs and some are smaller making them effective archers. It is also known that elves get mixed up with nymphs who naturally have the physique to lure young men away almost making them subject to their nymph mistress but nymphs and elves are essentially two seperate races. Nymphs for one half pointed ears to the sides and can shapeshift unlike elves who's ears are flat against their heads most of the time and remain pointed as a knife, elves like nymphs were born from nature though rumor also has it that nymphs were another group of faeries who left their groves hungry for adventure and mates. Elves also disavow nymphs as far too loose and undressed to be mistaken for them, another difference is elves have males where nymphs have only women. Elves have a moral high ground as their longevity grants them many years to obtain knowledge, savor emotional moments, and able to influence the social structure to a meaningful direction. When elves mate is it less thrall and more emotional ecstasy in purpose for they wish to have more share in the joy they've found and for that eventually an elven child is born and is said to take a century before they arrive to adulthood but they issue magical joy wherever they go and the elven people gather to celebrate the birth of an elven child. The males are circumcized as is their immortal custom for in their eyes it sets the immortal apart from the mortals for circumcision to take place. When an elf takes a human bride or groom to bring forth a half-elf they maintain the custom save they usually grow a larger family unit up to four or five children where ordinarily elves may have three at most but it all depends on their purpose for doing so. They waste no time in bestowing an elven child with a role and place in society hence the purpose of birthing them and they labor to insure they have a sizeable house of many members in their lineage. The fact that nymphs mate like rabbits is enough to make an elf change the subject as rumor also has it that nymphs have dedicated brothels in every region they live in, they certainly seem vulptuous enough to lure those filled with impulsive passion to eventually become property. An elven males king maker at longest achieves two and a half inches due to their size physically and elven females have c to b sized busts whereas nymphs have double c to double d sized busts and small life givers as their bodies are known to have tender sensitivity in the thralls of passion (a wonder youthful men are enthralled by them, they seem hypnotized when a nymph undresses) and giving of the noises that maintain the focused spell on their minds. A thing for certain is you will never find an elf less dressed than is appropriate in their culture.


Concerning Dwarves

Dwarves rarely speak of their physique and that is likely because of their bone sizes versus that of their skin. It was said long ago when they were primitive that the dwarven women had reputedly droopy busts and they all looked as if they spent far too much time toning their bodies to be made of pure muscle. Even if a dwarven woman was thin she still physically had the bulkiness of a troll, as we should know they are proficient in contraptions it isn't difficult to imagine dwarven women often wore corsets though they in time discovered this wasn't condusive to their health. Dwarves are known to eat more grains than any other race by far yet their ultimate diet is dairy, they consider veganism to be an elven thing as pure meat eating is a minotaur diet. In mating dwarves are known for the rough and tumble doing everything clumsily unless they are royalty in which it usually involves alcohol either way, alcohol seems to be the johnny jump up they go for to get the plumbing in motion to concieve dwarven children. Any time a dwarf is drunk they often get into surly talk so it is best to drink lightly and responsibly, after all who ends up first flat on the floor after overdrinking? They recover of course. Dwarves mate for the sake of building up their house name for the means of gaining a seat in their governing body more often than not they bring about a mover and shaker each century or several generations to change their social position. Dwarves do value wealth and jewelry as they are able to craft it in enough abundance to decorate the most important members of their society, dwarves often live half the lifetime of an elf meaning they take to fifty years before they become adults. Ritually like humans they love to decorate their rooms for the act of mating of which to invoke the passionate feelings that bring forth the mood they require.


Concerning Minotaurs

Never should we forget that Minotaurs are a naturally bred warrior race for the way of battle is home to them due to their aggression and the fact they sometimes loan themselves out as mercenaries. They practice a warrior art to focus themselves so they can maintain calm in times of peace and ready to fight in a time of war, they devote themselves to several schools of thought and collectivist societies of which to leash their inner beast. Physically they are tall and muscular, they tower over humans naturally and are worth four elves in size, even the king makers of minotaur men are enough to make an elven woman squeal in pain and make a nymph cry like a dieing fiendish creature. The minotaur women are proportionate to their bodies having d and e sized busts matched by their athletic arms and to top it all off their life givers are also sizeable, due to the aggression that minotaur men feel they often help them therapeutically through stretch and exercise styled mating. Minotaurs only live maybe fifty years due to their sheer size alone and the fact they are major carnivores due to slinging all that muscle of theirs about and sweating enough to create a puddle underneath themselves. Minotaurs mate only enough to have children as a sort of replacement generation when the ones before them perish or expire naturally Minotaur children ultimately reach adulthood by fifteen as they do not live very long. They sometimes resolve mating urges through regular intercourse to thwart the aggression it builds up if not managed in time, they don't usually have families but instead form tribes as each tribe has a purpose of its own, a commonality of interest and mindset they share and thus they are given to said tribe. A joke was once said that how a minotaur slept was 'soundly while propped on a bed full of oily writhing virgins' though I have to wonder at this claim, it seems more that they have to lay on their backs or face discomfort for sleeping on their sides and to get rest they usually have to get drunk first.


Concerning Halflings

Halflings would likely consider any such talk of their bodily functions, mating rituals and the like as obscene and completely rude, they'd tell people like you and me to keep to ourselves and mind our own fields. As fiendishly mischevious and divinely vulgar as you have come to know us, we can't help ourselves :D so we say halflings unlike dwarves are physically not big boned. They look like stickmen when terribly thin, they mate only as much as they can manage so large families would require a halfling of considerable farming skills, the remainder keep to two or three children. Male halflings are merely a downsize of humans where their king makers are one to one and a half inches, it seems small to us but is normal to them. Female halflings have normally a to b cups and the smallest life givers of all the races though some are equal to the size of dwarves. A halfling reaches adulthood by thirty and lives normally to three hundred years before expiration, now that I've said that it be likely they will come at me with torches and pitchforks so I must skidaddle.